…how I came to the conclusion that I wanted to pursue writing as the dominant career path in my life
Teaching is a profession that I love. It is also a profession that I have chosen not to pursue full-time. It is a profession that I have a love-hate relationship with. Some days are good, some days are bad, and while I genuinely love working with children and teens as a substitute teacher, it goes without saying that they are not always the easiest to work with.
Claiming that I am not the smartest when it comes to science and therefore would not make the best biologist or brain surgeon, OR that my odd sense of direction and jitters when it comes to driving larger vehicles would not make me the best at taxi driving, truck driving, or parking cars for a living, is easy for me. When it comes to the teaching profession however, that’s where my mind begins to play games with me.
Full-time teaching was never a profession that I ‘absolutely couldn’t do,’ ‘shouldn’t do’ or ‘simply couldn’t handle,’ and in many ways, I wish it were because only then, would I have an easier time asserting that it just isn’t my cup of tea anymore. No, in fact, teaching has always been very near and dear to my heart, ever since I was 8 years old. So it comes as no surprise that the moment I realized becoming a full-time classroom teacher was no longer for me, it took some getting used to.
For years, although I still worked as a substitute teacher, I tried to justify why I hadn’t made the leap, diving head first into getting my own classroom. “I enjoy the diversity of working with a multitude of ages and aptitudes,” I would tell myself. “I enjoy working at various school sites and with many different teachers, instructional assistants, office managers, and principals,” was another common reason I would give for my choice to remain a substitute. But whichever way I spun it, I found myself heading into an unhealthy cycle of self-doubt and trying to convince myself that I SHOULD be a full-time teacher because parents needed me to teach their precious children and that the precious children, needed someone as kind and nurturing as me, to be their teacher.
I would walk into classrooms that I was supposed to substitute in and catch teachers just as they were about to jet off to a meeting. I would sit at the back of the class and observe as they quickly reviewed lesson plans with their students, introducing me as the guest teacher. The emotions running through my mind were simple — I SHOULD want this life, this should be MY classroom, and I SHOULD be the one introducing a guest teacher to MY students before jetting off to MY meeting.
It wasn’t until I taught a relaxing, month-long summer school class at the junior high in my district that something switched in my brain. I was given the opportunity to teach a writing class and as anyone who is close to me knows, writing has always been one of my greatest passions and a hobby that has kept me fulfilled and given me great purpose in life throughout the years. Teaching summer school is always great — I am given complete freedom to design my own lesson plans, I am not faced with the pressure of doing report cards or grading papers, and best of all, it’s only a month-long, similar to a long-term substitute teaching position. Now that, I do enjoy! After the course ended, I began to really think long and hard about how much fun I had and the possibility of pursuing a career as a writer, (author specifically), wondering if it would be possible to get any of the books I had recently written picked up by a publisher.
I will never quit my day job and I will never dislike working with children and teens, but since pursuing my writing on a more serious scale, I have seen a shift in how much happier and freer I feel. I know that there is a place for me somewhere in the education industry and I will forever be grateful to all of my mentors and master teachers who helped me along the way with student teaching and graduate level courses within the teacher credential program at my university.
Today, I am writing this piece in hopes that I can inspire anyone who is struggling to find the career that suits them best. I am here to shed light on the possibility of having more than one passion (for me it is teaching AND writing) and I would like for you all to understand that it is more important to do what makes YOU happy and fulfilled rather than do what it is you feel the world EXPECTS you to do. It’s okay to admit you thought one profession was ‘THE ONE’ for you when you later had a change of heart or found parts of that profession that just weren’t suited to your personality as you dove head first into the job. Look, the bottom line is that there are a multitude of ways to make a living in this world and with passion and the right mindset, it is 100 percent possible to MAKE that living doing EXACTLY what it is that makes YOU come alive!